handmade by jack 2020-∞
( ´∀｀ ) n
( .人 .人 γ ﾉ proceed with caution
i truly believe things are getting at least a little bit better. i have in a bunch of job applications, im becoming more motivated, but most importantly im starting to change more. im becoming happier with my body. i mean hell, a box of black hair dye and my hair will be perfect. i love how it is right now, just the right side is fading... for some reason. thats the side i bleached so maybe the dye just didnt stay well after the bleach and the splat dye (yeah my hairs dying what about it). but its so fluffy and its finally short and looks how ive wanted it to for ages. i've always wanted boyish hair, the kind where you don't know where it parts, the kind that fluffs out in the back, the kind that doesn't even touch your shoulders. cutting my hair was one of the best choices of my life, i think. anyways, hopefully i get an inquiry about my job applications soon, i applied for like, 4 different places last night. a couple days ago i applied to walmart. i wonder who will call first? walmart or one of the smaller places? i feel like i might end up working at subway honestly. i just want an income so i can keep transforming myself into the person ive longed to be for years and years, i know ill finally be happy. i just want to finally be me. finally.
-november 18th 2020 @ 9:51am
why do things feel so... "embarrassing"? i do nothing yet i'm embarrased of just, existing. maybe it's because i don't fit the norm of society, maybe i'm insecure, i just wonder if i'm alone here. is anyone else "embarrassed" as i am? but the embarrassment ranges farther than just being flustered, it leads to me feeling like a burden, a waste of space since i'm not the same as everyone else. yet i don't want to be like anyone else. i just want to be me, i just want to have a bit of confidence in myself, i want to feel like i belong.
-october 14th 2020 @ 9:42am